Always
by xXx-Voldy's-Gone-Moldy-xXx
Summary: Lily tells Severus she has accepted to date James, but when he reacts and tries to tell her he loves her, she runs away and Snape is left with nothing. One-shot as a tribute to Severus Snape.  3


While I was working on my fourth chapter for The Hiss of a Serpent, I hit a road block, if you will, and decided I needed a bit of a prompt. I have just seen the new Harry Potter movie, and as sad as it was, I felt inspired to write a one-shot about Snape and Lily in their childhood, because I'm in love with Snape. He's just so mysteriously misunderstood, and in my opionion, taken for granted. I thought it would be a great way to remember my favourite character. I sobbed at that movie, and pray that before you read this, you have read the seventh book. I haven't included any major spoilers, but just in case. Reader beware.

Also, I debated about making this a story, but I have three others that I'm working on, and this was just something I wanted to get up after writing it. I'm not so god at proof-reading either, so please ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes. I try my hardest to get it perfect. In this story, Snape and Lily are fifteen. It's set in the summer before their fifth year, and written in Snape's point of view. It's not so good, because I changed how they stopped being friends. In the books, Snape calls her a Mudblood, but I thought it should have been more dramatic... I love Snape, he is my favourite. 3

~SS~

She lay in the grass below the tree, her hair spread around her head in a crimson disarray, the light wind playing gently with the tips. She hummed a soft song to herself as she tore apart a lily flower, her lips set in a smile that made me only wonder what it - or who it was - she was thinking about. I sat perched in the willow tree, and despite the lack of attention, I knew Lily hadn't forgotten I was there. It was only everyday she told me how special I was to her, and it made my heart swell ten times larger than it already did when I saw those gorgeous, emerald eyes sparkle, or heard that laugh that sounded just like wind chimes. But she was perfect, and I was not. I knew this, for she only referred to me like a brother, or a very close friend. Oh how close I wished it was, and if it were, I would make it last. If only I could tell her, or let her know. Would she return my feelings? It was that question that kept me from telling her anything, and when I slid off my branch to join her in the grass, her eyes popped open as if I had startled her. Hadn't she known I was there?

"Severus!" she gasped, sitting up right. "I hadn't heard you come." I held back, afraid she would want me to leave. I hadn't meant to scare her, we usually met here everyday as it was. I stared at her, wondering if something had changed, if she had realized - finally - what type of boy I really was. A Slytherin. A Muggle hater, or a follower of the Dark Lord like the rest of them all.

"Lily," I said quietly, looking down. My hair fell in my face and I felt suddenly angry at myself for who I was. I was just a Snape; a member of a family with such a terrible reputation, it wouldn't shock me now if someone had scared her away. If this was the case, I would never have my flower. I looked up and glared at the black curtain of filth in front of my eyes. I loathed it, it was always dirty and long. It looked better that way, but I knew Lily preffered neater-looking people. How such a witch as Lily be able to feel the way I felt about her? I would never be possible...

"You gave me a fright," she said, sounding happier now. A laugh followed her words and I instantly looked up.

"So ... so you're not creeped out?" I asked gently, fearfully. She gave me a quizzical look and shook her head.

"Of course not. I just hadn't noticed you were there yet," she said, twirling her flower absentmidedly in her hand. I stayed quiet, watching her like a lost puppy. I felt so stupid for loving her.

"Sev?" she said gently. I snapped out of my daze and blinked at her. "Are you all right?"

"Of course, Lily, I'm ... here, aren't I?" I replied.

"Well, yes ... Almost, I mean, you look a little ... lost." I raised an eyebrow and shrugged off my black cloak I had recieved from my mother only a few hours before. It was much too heavy to wear in this heat.

"I'm fine, Lils," I said, not meeting her eyes. My own had fallen to the flower she held in her hand. "Where did you get the flower?" I blurted, and immediately felt foolish. We were in the park - there were flowers all over the place. _But not lillies_, I thought.

"An owl," she said with a small smile. "From ... Potter. He - he asked me out again, only this time, it was ... different. Not arrogant, you know?" My eyes widened for a fraction of a second and I felt my heart speed up. Potter? Oh he would, wouldn't he? But of course he was the reason Lily had torn half of the petals off. To get rid of it ... destroy it. Rid it of her sight...

"Oh," I said, distaste lacing my tone. I bit back every fowl word I knew and attempted to stay calm as I heard her next words.

"I promised to meet him later tonight... I felt bad for treating him the way I had during the school year, and see, he apologized..." I nodded, and put on my best mask. I remained calm on the outside, but inside I was frantic. I felt like Lily was being taken away from me and I'd never see her again; there was something holding me back from grabbing her right then hiding her away from the rest of the world.

"Of course, it's only to talk with him," she added in hast, but it didn't calm me down. Lily looked back down and tore off another petal.

"Don't!" I exclaimed, my hand flying out and grabbing hers. Her head snapped up, clearly startled. I withdrew and quickly, as if I had been burned. "Don't - don't tear the flower," I added quickly, attempting to save myself. "It's ... not good for it." Lily stared at me for a moment and then placed the lily in her lap.

"Sorry," she said slowly. I shrugged and looked down at my feet, making sure to cover my face with my eyes.

"So are you going to go out with Potter then?" The question had escaped my lips before I could force it back into the depths within me and all the other things I wished to say at that moment.

"Well, I did just say I was going to meet-"

"So date him, Lily," I said agrily. I met her wide green eyes with my black ones set in a glare and rose to my feet. "Since you obviously can't say no for your own good," I seethed. "Date him, Lily."

"What? Severus, I-"

"I said date him! You quite clearly want to, so what's stopping you?" Lily stared at me, confused and fearful at the same time.

"Sev-"

"Don't call me that," I shouted.

"Severus, please just listen!" She jumped up and tried to reach my height, but I still towered over her. I swooped down and grabbed the black cloak I had taken off before and threw it over my shoulders, fastening the button at the top. "I haven't even said yes!"

"You said you'd meet him, Lily! So tell me, is it me who gets in your way now?" She shook her head.

"No-"

"Lies. Of course it is, it always had been, hasn't it?" I tried in vain to bite back my words, to control myself.

"Sev, please!" I shook my head.

"No, Lily. I know what you're going to say. 'He isn't like the others'! Well neither am I, Lily! Why can't you see that?"

"What?" she screamed. "What are you_ talking_ about, Severus?" I let out a frustrated growl at her ignorance. Was she not intellegent? Surely she could tell what I was trying to say. with my anger boiling, I turned around and kicked the the trunk of the willow tree, breaking off pieces of bark.

"I love you," I said so quietly I could barely hear myself. But I know she heard, because the only sound I heard was Lily taking a step back. And another, and before I had a chance to turn around and try and stop her, I heard her running off back in the direction of her house. I stared at her retreating figure, her hair trailing behind her like some sort of cape.

"Lily!" I called, trying to run, but something held my feet to the ground. She didn't even look back, only kept running away from me. Running to Potter. He always got what he wanted, no matter who ro what it was. And I never would. As much as I needed her, I would never have my own Lily Flower. "Lily," I said again, but only to the ground. "I love you... Always."

~SS~

So there you have it. Not so good, hey? I just wanted to write it, because I am in love with Snape. He is so brave and really, when you think about it, insanely kind. Please review if you like. R.I.P. Snape 3 XOXO.


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